Miyoko Helle

Provided by Don Helle

2/3/65 - 12/23/22 This will be my story of her “dash.” Hopefully, this eulogy will help answer some questions, add some context and vibrance to my wife and best friend. I have grieved more than I thought physically possible. To say she was my everything would be an understatement; however, instead of filling the room with more tears… I’m going to try to honor her wishes /culture and share a “celebration of life”. After 33 years of marriage, hopefully I can share some things to make you smile.  

We’re often asked, “How did you two meet?” The answer always began with a smile because it's the source of disagreement between us. Miyoko’s story is met on the beach in Hayama, where the USS Midway Boiler’s Division was having a Beach Party. I was throwing a football with friends, and of course, I overthrew it in the direction of the pretty Japanese girls and asked if they wanted to join us. While that story is true… the moment I recognized the mole next to her eye, I knew we had met previously. The truth is… we met at a Disco in Roponggi called “Byblos”. It was a place where the American Bands who played at the Budakan would frequent for an “after-concert party”. It was the place the Japanese girls went to see Bon Jovi or other rock stars, as Navy guys go… we knew that’s where the pretty girls were, and if nobody famous was in town, we had a chance. I remember dancing with Miyoko. What I remember most was missing a slow dance with her as she went to console her girlfriend, who was crying over a break-up. Months later, we met at the Hiyama beach, so while meeting her was etched in my mind, it wasn’t in hers.

The next time we met… was truly a Journey Song Lyric… Yokosuka, Japan, is home to “Club Alliance,” a three-story building where we could escort locals into the building for food, drinks, and dancing. The first floor was the Hip-Hop music, the second floor was restaurants and country music, while the third floor was Rock-n-Roll.  One Friday night, a bunch of people were dancing. In the crowd, I saw a Japanese girl wearing a red sweater dress, a white belt, and white boots with a fringe top. My eyes locked on that girl, who was too far away to see clearly, but a voice in my head said, “I don’t know who that is, but she’s going to be my wife.” I made my way up to the dance floor, and it was Miyoko. We danced and introduced each other to our friend groups, and before the night was over, we agreed to meet on Saturday at the Shinagawa Prince Hotel to ice skate on our first official date.  Miyoko loves ice skating… neither one of us is particularly good at skating, but she does enjoy watching the pair dancing so elegantly, gracefully, and romantically.

Those three words, elegant, graceful, and romantic, are great adjectives to describe Miyoko; she was also fashionable and a hard worker. Some of the jobs Miyoko held were a jewelry designer's assistant, she worked in shoe sales, and eventually copied blueprints at Diawa Engineering (by hand - before CAD CAM). Always fashionable, one time she was stopped by a magazine photographer trying to capture the young adult “look” in Tokyo. She always took great pride in her clothing and accessories (hats, scarves, shoes, and of course, jewelry).

Our first apartment together was in Kitakurihama, living with someone, you take the opportunity to ask a thousand little questions that have always been on your mind. It would usually start with, “Don, can I ask you a question? “Why do you say 'Holy Cow' when you’re surprised?” Long pause…. I have no idea. Another one… “Why do you have an Easter Bunny hiding chocolate eggs? What do rabbits and eggs have to do with Jesus? Long pause. I loved those questions.  

Miyoko and I married at the US Embassy in Tokyo, Japan, on Dec 15, 1989 (33 years). We became parents in 1995 (Rikka), then again in 1999 (Kevin). There really is no other feeling that can compare to being a parent. Miyoko thrived being a “Mom/Okasan ”, always teaching, watching, and caring for our kids while being actively engaged from yochien through college. Rikka and Kevin are our greatest accomplishment, our greatest pride… watching those kids grow and develop into young adults has simply made us both beam with joy. I believe both kids have distinctive traits of Miyoko. I’m excited to see how those traits mature and become refined over time. I see elegance, grace, fashion, romance, and work ethics in them currently. I’m sure that with Mom watching over their shoulders, the best is yet to come. 

We’ve lived in Marshall longer than we’ve ever lived anywhere. Paul Herman (Herman Hardware) really set the Marshall experience for us. The first time he met Miyoko, he wrote her name down on a piece of paper. Each time she’d visit… he called her by name, “Hello Miyoko… how can I help you?” She liked having her own identity… not just being Don’s wife or Rikka & Kevin’s mom. 

She also loved those two white geese on Partello Road and always mentioned how that pair mated for life (just like us), that’s the romantic side of her, her focus on our family grew stronger each of our 33 years. She also loved making friends and sharing her talents. Miyoko established a local tradition of gifting “Cake in a Jar” (Kaluaha Cake). Each year, she’d make about fifty of those to provide friends at Christmas time. That is a tradition which I will continue… or at least I’ll try, these cakes next year may have more alcohol, so get on our list early. 

On Aug 14, 2020, our lives changed when a Stage IV tumor was identified in her duodenum. I witnessed Miyoko show a strength that was incomprehensible to me. Miyoko… always wanted the facts straight and not sugar-coated, she’d ask the tough questions.. “How long do I have?” The doctors said there is no way of knowing for certain, but approximately six months to six years. We cried pretty hard for 30 minutes, then she simply looked at me at said, “This is God’s perfect life for me, nothing perfect lasts forever”.  Who says that? (Miyoko)

Miyoko endured the nausea and sickness of chemotherapy for two years with elegance, grace, and strength. During those visits, the doctors at U of M always complimented Miyoko on her fashion and positive attitude. Miyoko had many milestone victories; we got to see her favorite classical pianist, “Fujiko Hemming,” play at Carnage Hall. She visited Kevin in Miami three times, seeing his apartment, the engineering project site, his girlfriend Andrea, and the wonderful food of Miami.  

She got to see the joy on Rikka’s face being engaged to her fiancé (Andy Pedersen), Miyoko got to help with dress shopping and wedding preparation, all while Andy was deployed in Kuwait with the Michigan Army National Guard. Then Miyoko participated in the surprise of Rikka’s life when Andy was able to return early, Rikka and Andy got married in our house on December 7, 2022. Fulfilling those milestones was mission complete for Miyoko… you could see she was happy, our little girl was now married.

Miyoko had the softness skin I had ever touched… she always said it was because she didn’t have muscles, after watching her battle cancer… I witnessed that strength doesn’t come from muscles; strength comes from spirit. Miyoko is easily the strongest person I’ve ever met…

Miyoko Quiz:

Favorite Color - Navy Blue

Favorite Clothing - 45 RPM

Favorite Music - Young Miyoko - Michael Jackson / Bee Gees (Dancing music)

 Mature Miyoko - Fujiko Hemming

Favorite Movie Scene - Tom Hanks in “BIG” eating the mini-corn

Favorite Activities - Traveling with friends, Food-Wine, sunrises, hanging out with Soba and Dice, plus driving her 1988 Porsche Carrera convertible

Miyoko appreciated quality… these last few months, she received many cards, video clips, and visitors wishing her encouragement. She always commented on the quality of friends we have made everywhere we’ve lived (Japan, Illinois, Michigan). Miyoko’s strength, grace, elegance, work ethic, and fashion have forever enriched our lives. She will be missed, never forgotten…. I will always love you!